Five Years a Fool, A Lifetime Apart novel · Chapter 20 of 24

Chapter 20: What Jasper Was Told

I looked at the crooked letters for a long time.

Jasper watched my face.

He was waiting for me to be pleased.

I pulled the other plastic chair up to the card table and sat down so our eyes were level.

Camille stood by the door with her arms wrapped around herself.

Margo had stayed in the hallway and shut the door halfway.

"Jasper, this is a good drawing."

"I know."

"I need to tell you something true, and it might be hard to hear."

He nodded very seriously.

"I'm not your dad."

His small face did not change.

"Dexter is your dad," I said. "He's the one who made you with your mom. I'm Caleb."

"Mommy said you're the bank."

"I know she did."

"She said it so you wouldn't be sad."

That was the first thing he had told me that no adult had put in his mouth.

I had to wait a moment before I could speak.

"I'm not a bank. A bank is a building. I'm a person, and I should have been told about you from the start, and I'm sorry you were told to say that about me."

"Are you going away?"

"I'm not going away from you."

"Then why aren't you my dad?"

"Because a dad is someone who stays when it gets hard, and I'm not the one who made that promise to you. But I can promise something else."

"What?"

"I'll come see you every Sunday. We'll make pancakes. I'll be Caleb, who shows up."

He thought about it with his tongue in the gap where the front tooth had been.

"Is Daddy coming back?"

Camille made a small sound by the door.

I did not look at her.

"I don't know," I said. "If he does, it's for your mom to decide. If he doesn't, it isn't because of anything you did. Not one thing."

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