Chapter 24: My Yes

At eleven the attic stairs creaked under four sets of feet.

I sat in the middle of my bed in a plain white shirt, with the lamp on and the window open to the lake.

They came in one at a time.

Felix first, then Vincent, then Florian. Dominik stopped in the doorway.

"You can come in," I said.

"I'd like to hear you say it."

"Come in, Dominik."

He crossed the threshold slowly and shut the door behind him.

They stood in a half circle, big men in a small room, with their hands at their sides.

None of them knew where to look.

"Nobody touches me until I say," I said. "You remember."

"We remember," Vincent said.

"Felix. Kiss me."

He crossed to the bed and knelt on the mattress.

He took my face in his inky hands and kissed me, gently, for a long time.

"Yes," I said against his mouth. "Stay."

"Vincent."

He sat behind me. His hands slid under my shirt and spread over my ribs, warm and sure.

"Yes."

"Florian."

He was already on his knees at the foot of the bed.

"Take my shirt off."

He lifted it over my head so carefully that I laughed.

I sat there bare between three of them, and the fourth stood by the door and did not breathe.

"Dominik," I said.

He took one step.

"You wanted me looking at you," I said. "You wanted me awake."

"Yes."

"I'm awake. Sit in the chair."

He sat in the wooden chair by the bed, the one where he had cried with candles lit.

"You watch," I said. "You wait. And when I want you, I will say your name."

His breath left him.

"Yes, Lena."

I turned my head and kissed Felix again.

Vincent's hands rose to my breasts, and his thumbs found my nipples.

Florian put his mouth on the inside of my knee and moved upward, slowly.

"Yes," I said. "Yes. There."

Felix kissed his way down my throat. His curls brushed my chin.

I leaned back against Vincent and let my thighs fall open.

Florian's tongue found me and I gasped.

It was nothing like the dark. I could see everything. I could put my hands in their hair and guide them, and I did.

"Slower," I told Florian.

He slowed.

"Felix. Here." I took his hand and set it on my breast.

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