Chapter 12: To Whoever Kills Me

Florian was waiting in the east court again.

He wore no coat this time.

Piers stood a few steps behind him holding a lantern, and snow lay thick between them on the flagstones.

They had ridden through the night, then.

Evander saw it in how the prince swayed on his feet.

"I told him not to," said Piers.

"He fell off twice."

"Three times," said Florian, hoarse.

Evander crossed the court.

He took the card of wax out of his shirt and put it in the prince's hand.

Florian looked at it under the lantern and turned it over.

His face did something complicated, and then went very quiet.

"His drawer is full of them," said Evander.

"He as good as said so himself."

"Evander."

"I believe you."

The words came out of him.

"I should have said it in the stable.

"I believed you in the stable.

"I was a coward."

"You weren't."

"I'm sorry."

Florian laughed, and it broke in the middle, and he put his fist to his mouth.

Then he stepped in against Evander's chest, and Evander wrapped both arms around him, and he shook.

Piers looked up at the sky with great interest.

"I'll be in the guardroom," he said, and went.

In the prince's bedchamber the fire had burned low.

Florian drew Evander in by the hand and shut the door.

On the nightstand, under the candlestick, lay the sealed red letter.

He took it up and put it in Evander's hands.

"I wrote it the week I turned eighteen," he said.

"I've added to it since.

"I think it's time you read it."

Evander broke the seal.

To whoever kills me.

I signed the Rask order when I was fifteen, without reading it.

That is the only truth I am sure of.

Everything I have learned since, I learned too late to give back what I took.

If you are one of the family, you have more right than anyone.

I would ask only that you do it quickly and not blame the guard who let you in.

If you are someone else, I am sorry to have been so little trouble.

I have lit seventeen candles a year for six years.

It is not enough, and I know it.

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