In Sickness and in Lies novel · Chapter 16 of 32

Chapter 16: Say It to Me

Bruce followed me to Elmhurst in his own car, and neither of us said why.

I let him in through the kitchen.

The cat was on the table.

I put it on the floor and turned around, and he was standing in the doorway with his coat still on.

"You asked me a question," he said. "In the parking lot."

"I asked you why you walked off."

"The first night." He took a breath. "You were sitting in a plastic chair outside the stroke ward with a purse on your knees. I told you your mother might never walk again."

"You told me flat. Like reading a lab result."

"Yes."

"And then you left."

"Yes."

"I sat in that hallway for an hour with nobody." My voice came out harder than I meant. "My husband was on a terrace somewhere, and the one person who'd told me the truth was gone. I hated you."

"I know."

"You don't know. You were in a stairwell, being right."

"I was in a stairwell," he said, "with my forehead on a wall."

I stopped.

"You were twenty feet from me, scared out of your head, and I wanted to put my hand on the back of your neck and tell you it would be all right." He said it as a plain fact. "I couldn't say that. It wasn't true yet. So I went and hit the wall instead of lying to you."

"That's your explanation."

"That's the whole thing."

I crossed the kitchen.

I stopped close enough to see the scar on his forearm where his cuff had ridden up.

"You have a rule," I said. "Your mother is my patient."

"I remember."

"She isn't. You said so in front of a nurse and a fish tank."

"Gwyneth."

"You said I could let go of your sleeve once I was done thanking you." I took hold of it. "I'm not thanking you."

"No," he said, low. "I can see that."

"Then what are you waiting for?"

"You're still married."

"To a man who bet a beach house that I'd never leave. He lost. He just doesn't have the paper yet."

"After you sign," Bruce said.

"I'll sign. I'll sign in front of you." I pulled the sleeve. "I'm not asking permission, Bruce. Not from him. Not from you."

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