Chapter 4: Open the Door

I opened the door myself.

The cold came in with Lucan's face in it.

He stood on the porch step with snow in his hair and his split knuckles hanging at his sides.

He looked at me, and I watched him look.

The place on my neck where his mark used to be.

His mouth opened and nothing came out.

His eyes were the worst of it.

For five years they had ringed gold whenever he was angry or wanting me, and I had never once thought what they would look like without it.

"You're alive," he said.

"Yes."

"Neve." He put out a hand and stopped it an inch from my arm. "I can't feel you. I reach for you and there's just nothing there."

"That's what it's supposed to be."

"I didn't understand it. I swear to you, I didn't understand what it would be."

"You told me in the hall. You said it takes the wolf. You understood."

"That was before I felt it go."

His whole body shook.

"Say it again," I said.

"What?"

"How long. You said since the autumn."

He swallowed.

"Since the autumn," he said.

I waited a moment longer than I needed to.

I watched his eyes slide away from mine, toward the porch rail and back.

It lasted one second.

Then he said again, "Since the autumn. Four months. I swear on my father's grave."

"Is that the whole truth?"

"It's the whole truth."

"Neve, please. Come home. We'll sort it out. I'll send her away. I'll do anything you want."

"You didn't say that in the hall."

"I was a coward in the hall."

"And now you're a coward on a porch."

The rumble of engines came through the trees before he could answer.

Three snowmobiles slid into the yard and killed their lights.

Ilse got off the first one with her black coat flapping, straight as a rake.

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