Memories Without Him novel · Chapter 4 of 24
Chapter 4: Ninety Days
Vincent's brownstone in Brooklyn Heights had four floors and a guest room with a lock on the inside.
He showed me the lock himself.
"It's yours," he said. "Nobody comes in without you saying so. Not me."
I put my duffel bag on the bed and sat beside it.
I had lived in that house for two years when I was fifteen, and I did not remember the stairs being so quiet.
He stood in the doorway with his hands in his pockets, and he did not step in.
"Eat something," he said. "A doctor is coming at eight to take your blood pressure, and then you sleep."
"Vincent."
"What."
"I need to ask you something, and you're going to say no."
He leaned on the frame.
"Try me."
I had practiced it in the hospital bed all afternoon, and now every word sounded worse.
"When the surgery's done, I might not be able to talk. Or I might not know what a form is, or who anyone is. The doctor says someone has to sign for me. Someone with the right to."
"A guardian."
"A husband," I said.
He did not move at all.
"If it's you," I said, "I know you'll do what's best. And I wouldn't have to put a stranger's name on a line. I'd ask my roommate, but she's twenty-three and she cries at insurance forms."
"You're asking me to marry you."
"For ninety days. Until I'm through the surgery and either I'm better or I'm not. Then you tear it up, and you're free, and so am I."
It was silent for so long that I heard the radiator tick.
"No touching," I said into it. "Except what the families expect. No love. You said so yourself, in your text. I'm not asking for the thing I'm not allowed to have."
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