Chapter 19: The Night Before

The night before the full moon, nobody came to the cabin door.

The wolf in the grey jacket had gone from the end of the road.

The council wanted me rested, or wanted me afraid.

Tobias lit the stove and said nothing about it.

I sat on the rug in front of it with my knees pulled up and watched the flames.

"Tomorrow," I said.

"Tomorrow."

"I'm not scared of the stone."

"I know."

"I'm scared of the minute after, when I have to decide who I am without anyone telling me."

He put down the kettle and sat on the rug behind me.

His arms went around my waist, and his chin came to rest on my shoulder.

"You've been deciding for weeks," he said. "You just haven't been charging yourself for it."

I laughed and leaned back against him.

His heart was steady under my shoulder blade.

"Stay close tonight," I said.

"I wasn't going anywhere."

"I mean closer than that."

He went still.

Then I felt his mouth against my neck, soft and slow, and the long breath he let out against my skin.

I turned in his arms.

His eyes were dark in the firelight, and he looked at me as though the whole night were mine to spend.

"Tonight I want to see you," I said. "I want the lamp on."

"Then we'll leave it on."

I took his face in my hands and kissed him.

He kissed me back, deeply, with no hurry in him at all.

I undid his shirt one button at a time, and he let me.

His skin was warm and scarred and mine. I put my mouth on each old line across his ribs, and he said my name.

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