Chapter 5: Glass

Ji-seok came home at nine that night with a new pane of glass.

Two men from a glazier's brought it up in the service elevator.

Ji-seok stood over them while they worked, without his coat, a smear of black gate blood drying on his cheek.

Si-woo sat on the sofa and watched him not look at him.

Ji-seok looked at the glass.

He looked at the men.

He looked at the floor.

The moment the door closed behind the workers, he looked at Si-woo, and the whole room felt smaller.

"Yang came to the gate," Ji-seok said.

"Did he?"

"He told me you hadn't said no."

"I told him I'd think about it."

Si-woo put down his tea.

"I told you the same thing last night, before you decided you weren't allowed to be jealous."

"I'm not jealous."

"Your hand is on the wall."

Ji-seok looked down.

His palm was flat on the new window, and a web of white cracks was already spreading from his fingers.

"Ji-seok."

"Say you won't go," Ji-seok said hoarsely.

"Say please."

"I did last night."

"You said stay. That was fine. Now you're angry." Si-woo stood up. "So I'd like to hear what you actually want. Not the polite version."

Ji-seok crossed the room in three strides.

His hands closed on Si-woo's arms, and then Si-woo was against the cold glass.

The whole night sky was behind him, Seoul glittering forty floors down.

Ji-seok's body pinned him from chest to knee.

He was shaking.

"I didn't want to share," Ji-seok said into his hair.

"I thought I'd be grateful for one touch in my life, and I was."

"Then I wanted more. Then I wanted all of it. I don't want anyone else seeing you laugh."

"There it is," said Si-woo.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Si-woo slid a hand into his hair. "Ask."

"Ask for what?"

"Whatever you're going to ask for. I'm waiting."

Ji-seok's forehead dropped against his.

His breath came hard and hot across Si-woo's mouth.

"Let me have you," he said. "Right here. Please."

Si-woo looked up at him.

Ji-seok was a head taller and twice his width, and he was shaking.

Si-woo turned around.

He pressed both palms flat to the glass and spread his feet, and looked at Ji-seok's reflection in the dark window.

"Take my trousers down," he said.

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