Chapter 20: Not a Payment

Cami's POV

"I love you," Rocco said.

He said it plainly, with no softening, in the voice he used for orders.

I lay in the white bed with a wire of pain through my side.

I looked at the grayest, most tired face I had ever seen on a man.

"Again," I said.

"I love you."

"Why didn't you ever say it?"

"Because I thought the day you didn't need me anymore, you would leave."

"And?"

"And I thought if I said it, you'd feel you owed me something."

"Rocco."

"Yes."

"I thought every kind thing you did was a payment."

He frowned.

"The soda. The ring. The freedom with the firm. The way you counted out loud when I was in the fire."

I swallowed, and my throat hurt.

"I thought you were paying me back for the work. A good wife for the security, no debt."

"And?"

"I kept waiting for the day you'd hand me the bill."

"A bill."

"I never thought you wanted me."

He looked at me for a very long time.

Then he laughed, one rough breath, and covered his eyes with his hand.

"I left the line blank," he said into his palm. "I had a ring made in your size before I ever met you."

"Rocco..."

"I took the tea out of my house and had every cup smashed. And you thought it was a bargain."

"You never told me!"

"I was a fool."

"You were," I agreed.

"I know."

"I climbed into a burning building for hard drives, which was stupid."

"Yes."

"And I walked into that shed with a pen, which was worse. So we're both fools."

He lowered his hand.

His eyes were red.

"Then I'll say it the way you'll believe it," he said. "You didn't marry me for the Fortress, did you?"

"I married you to keep Livia out of your house."

"And then?"

"And then I stayed," I said. "And I stayed for the man who ordered me soda."

He leaned down and kissed my forehead, very carefully, because of the bandage.

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