Chapter 23: Leave

I read Jared's message at the table, with the string lights going on overhead.

It was long, and he had clearly typed it more than once.

Carys, I'm not asking you to forgive me.

I took a job in Phoenix and I leave Tuesday.

I've signed my name off your lease.

The spare key is under your mat.

I told people you were hard to travel with.

The truth is that I never once carried my own bag and I never once said thank you.

I know that now.

I'm sorry I needed a crowd to see it.

Don't answer this.

I answered it anyway.

Take care of yourself, Jared.

I sent it before I could add anything else, and then I turned the phone face down on the tablecloth.

Caleb leaned over and read it from the side.

"That's kinder than he deserves," he said.

"It's the kindest thing I can say without lying."

"Do you want me to go to Phoenix and hit him?"

"No."

"I would. I'd bring snacks."

"Eat your eggs," I said.

At home that evening, I sat on the couch, with the lamp low and Caleb at the other end of it, a mug of tea steaming on the arm.

I opened The Four.

Jared's message sat at the bottom.

Above it there was nothing, because he had added me to a fresh thread.

The three years of photos from Santa Fe, rating sheets and Joss's heart emojis lived in the old chat, the one I had left.

I still remembered how warm it all sounded, and that was strange.

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