They Came to Buy My Sister, So I Went in Her Place as a Boy novel · Chapter 20 of 24

Chapter 20: The Front Gate

I walked out of the fortress at the first bell, by the front gate, in my skirt.

I had slept three hours in the abbot's bed with his arm across me.

I woke before him and lay looking at the beams, listening to the river.

All night I had been afraid of one thing.

I was afraid that when I opened my eyes I would want to stay because it was easy.

I did want to stay.

I wanted it so much that I got up in the dark and washed my face in the cold basin, to see if wanting was the same as knowing.

It wasn't.

I dressed in the grey wool and put my brother's coat over it.

I put the cap in my pocket and my father's ring on its string under my shirt.

When I turned, he was awake, propped on one elbow with the sheepskin pulled to his waist.

He did not say a word.

"I'm going home," I said.

"Today.

"With Amaia."

"Yes," said Aitor.

"I want to walk out of that gate in daylight, in my own name, and see what it's like."

"Yes."

His voice was quite steady.

I saw him put his hand flat on the bed, as if to hold it down.

"The gate is open," he said.

"It has been since you came up the pass.

"I will not stand in it."

"I know."

"Gotzon will carry what you want carried," he said.

"Whatever you want from this house is yours."

I came to the bed and sat on the edge of it.

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