Chapter 12: Apology

"Stay there," I called. "I'm coming down."

I found my jeans on the floor and my sweater on the heater, and I pulled both on with my hands shaking.

Rowan was already tugging his shirt over his head.

"I'll go first," he said.

"No. Let me."

"Tegan."

"She came alone. I want to see what she does."

He looked at me, and then he stood and went to the top of the ladder and waited, in case.

I climbed down into the cold.

Bailey stood in the frozen yard with the baking dish in both hands.

It was Gran's blue-rimmed casserole, the one with the chip in the lid.

She had taken it out of Gran's cabinet to bring me lasagna.

Her face was swollen from crying, and her braid was loose.

She looked small.

She looked exactly like the friend who held my hair back at orientation, and I hated how well it worked.

"I didn't sleep," she said. "I made this at midnight. I didn't know what else to do."

I took the dish and put it on the hood of her car.

"Say what you came to say."

"I'm so sorry." Her voice broke on the second word. "Tegan, I'm so sorry.

"It was supposed to be a place to vent. And then it got away from us."

"It got away from you for three years."

"I know."

"You named it."

"I did." She wiped her nose with her sleeve. "I was jealous. Is that what you want to hear?

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