They Never Saved Me a Seat, So I Built My Own Table novel · Chapter 14 of 24
Chapter 14: What He Read First
"Then say it," I said.
The hallway carpet was a dull brown with a gold pattern, and the vending machine at the end hummed.
Seth did not come any closer.
"Last August I read two hundred portfolios in a week," he said. "Yours was the one I kept going back to."
"You told me that. You said my work was good."
"I didn't tell you the rest. I chose you before I ever wrote to you. I told my director in August that I wanted you, and I told her not to post the other open seat."
"Before I applied."
"Before you answered my first email," he said. "You hadn't said yes to anything yet. I had already decided where you were going to sit."
My hand was still on the door.
It felt very far from the rest of me.
"There's more," he said. "You said no to me twice. Two weeks of emails, and both times you said you were sorry and you couldn't."
"I remember."
"After the second one, I wrote a third email that said the position was filled. I wrote it and I read it twice. It's in my drafts folder right now."
"You didn't send it."
"I didn't. I sent the other one instead, the one that asked you a third time. I told myself that was respect."
"Wasn't it?"
"Partly." His jaw moved. "Partly I could not stand being one more person who stopped asking. I made it about me, Paola."
I let go of the door.
"I spent two years," I said, "in a group of people who decided where I'd sit and then handed me a card."
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