Chapter 23: Torn in Half

I did not need to read the papers.

I took them off my knee, and I stood up on the porch step in front of everyone.

The housekeeper was in the doorway with a coffee tray.

Two of Cormick's men stood at the foot of the drive.

Pierce had come down in a borrowed sweater and was holding the door open for her.

They all pretended not to watch.

"Eden," Cormick said, still sitting. "You don't have to decide now."

"I've decided."

I tore the packet in half.

The blue backing split with a crack.

I tore it again and again, until the pieces were the size of playing cards.

Then I opened my hand and let the March wind take them across the gravel.

The housekeeper set the tray down on the porch rail and put her apron to her mouth.

Cormick had not moved.

He was looking at the paper blowing across the drive, and then at me.

His face came apart slowly, and it stayed open.

"I didn't marry you to stay alive," I said.

"You did."

"The first day I did."

I kept my voice level, because it was the only way to say it.

"I won't lie about that. I made my terms, and I thought you were a safe place with a lock."

"Eden."

"That was November. I'm telling you what it is now."

I crouched in front of him on the step, so we were level.

"You were steady when I wasn't. I'm done pretending I didn't need that."

I swallowed.

"You told me what you'd done, and you took it when I threw it back."

"I'd do it again."

"I know. That's the part I'm going to have to fight with you about for sixty years."

His breath left him.

"I'm not leaving," I said. "Ask me what I want."

"What do you want?"

"I want you to come inside. I want you in my bed."

I held up one finger.

"I want to keep the term where you never sign for me, and drop all the others."

I took his frozen hands in mine.

"And I want you to ask me every day what I need. Because I will tell you."

Pierce made a small noise in his throat.

The housekeeper was openly crying.

Cormick stood up and kissed me on the porch in the early light.

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