A Life Beyond Us novel · Chapter 12 of 24

Chapter 12: The Steps

I walked out the back door without a word and sat down on the steps.

They were the same steps, painted a different color, with the same crack down the third board.

The morning was cold and bright, and the grass was wet.

I heard the screen door behind me, and then Tom lowered himself to the step beside me.

He did not touch me.

He sat with his forearms on his knees and looked at the garage.

Neither of us spoke for a long time.

"Hannah," he said at last.

I pressed my lips together.

"Her name was Hannah, and she would have been six this March. I count it every year. I never told you I count."

"Tom."

"I painted the nursery pale green. The week you lost her, I closed the door.

I never opened it again. I put my tools in the garage and told you it was just a shop."

I turned and looked at his face.

He was crying, silently, with his jaw set, the way he cried at his father's funeral.

I put my hand on the back of his neck.

"I couldn't say it to you because I thought I'd break," he said.

"And somebody had to hold up the house."

"I wasn't asking you to hold up the house. I was asking you to sit with me."

"I know that now."

"Do you?"

"I do. Six years too late, but I do."

I leaned into his shoulder, and he put his arm around me and pulled me tight.

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