Exiled for Saying No, I Came Back and Took the Boss's Chair novel · Chapter 18 of 24

Chapter 18: Christmas Night

Nonna's cab had barely turned the corner for midnight Mass when the pebble hit my window.

I threw up the sash.

Ronan stood on the porch roof in the snow-light with his black coat open and a flat package under his arm.

"The front door is unlocked," I said.

"The roof is a tradition."

"Nonna says it's for cats."

"Then I'm a cat," he said, and swung one leg over the sill.

I caught him by the lapels and pulled him in, and the cold came in with him, and I kissed him hard in the dark.

He tasted of red wine and cold air.

"There's nobody to hear us," I said against his mouth.

"The house is empty?"

"Every bed, every stair, every board. Nobody but the saints," I said.

"Then I'm in no hurry."

"I am," I said.

I pushed his coat off his shoulders, and it slid to the floor.

I undid his shirt with quick fingers, and the scars on his forearms came out of the dark, pale and ridged.

I kissed one, and then the other.

Then I put my hand flat on his chest and pushed him back until his knees met the iron frame and he sat.

The springs sang out.

He grinned at the sound.

"Let them," I said.

I opened my bottom drawer and took out the red wool scarf Nonna had given me at supper.

The pack of little white pills lay in the drawer beside it, in its foil.

I had taken one from it every morning since I came home.

I looked at it for one long breath.

Tonight was the night for the next one, and I did not take it.

I left the drawer standing open.

I turned back to the bed with the scarf trailing from my fist.

"What's that for?" Ronan asked.

"Lie back."

He lay back.

"Hands up."

He put his hands up beside his head, and I wound the scarf around both wrists and knotted it to the iron rail.

I did not tie it hard.

I tied it so that he could pull free if he chose, and he knew it.

He tested the knot once and looked up at me.

"Tell me to stop," I said. "Go on. I dare you."

"Don't you dare stop," he said.

I laughed.

I stood at the foot of the bed and undid my buttons one at a time.

The green dress was my mother's, and I had worn it to supper, and I let it slide down off my shoulders to the floor.

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