Five Years a Fool, A Lifetime Apart novel · Chapter 2 of 24

Chapter 2: Hold the Curtain

Camille kneels and threatens to jump again; Caleb opens the window and holds the curtain for her, then leaves to find a letter marked refused waiting on the porch.

I got home first.

The porch light was on, because Camille always left it on for me.

I climbed the stairs to the room we had painted yellow for our daughter.

There was a small suitcase open on the crib mattress.

Dinosaur pajamas lay folded on top.

In the guest room across the hall, a man's leather bag sat on the bed.

Dexter's watch case was on the dresser.

They had moved in before I had even read the papers.

I put the suitcase on the floor, took the pajamas out of the nursery and closed the door.

Headlights swept the ceiling.

Three car doors shut.

I heard Dexter's laugh, low and easy, and a boy asking if this was the new house.

Camille came up alone.

She stood in our bedroom doorway with one hand on the small of her back.

"You left without saying goodbye to my mother."

"I left with your papers."

"Caleb."

She crossed the room and knelt in front of me, the way she had five years ago.

It took her a moment to get down with the belly.

"I never meant to hurt you. I love you. I only wanted Jasper to have a father."

"He has one," I said. "He's down the hall."

Her face tightened.

She stood up and went to the window.

She pushed it open and the night air came in.

"If you leave me, I'll jump."

I looked at her back.

I looked at the curve of her belly in the glass.

"Do it," I said.

Her head turned.

"You won't," I said. "Not with her inside you. You would never take that risk."

"So you never meant it five years ago either."

She said nothing.

"You made the same threat at this same window, and I stayed for five more years."

I took the curtain in my hand and held it back for her.

"Go ahead, Camille. The way is open."

She stepped away from the window.

Her eyes were wet, and I knew the tears now.

They came whenever she needed something.

I closed the window and locked it.

Then I took the duffel from the closet and packed three shirts, my laptop and my passport.

"Caleb, you can't walk out. It's Mother's house."

"Then your mother can keep it."

"You'll lose the baby!" she cried. "You signed nothing. You have no rights to her!"

I zipped the bag.

"Then I'll find out what I do have."

I went down the stairs.

Dexter stood at the bottom in his socks, holding a juice box.

He grinned at me, the same grin from the night I found him in my bed.

"Don't take it so hard, man. You'll get used to us."

I walked past him without a word.

The boy was on the couch in the dark living room, holding a toy truck.

"Are you leaving, Mr. Caleb?" he asked.

"Yes," I said.

"Mommy said you were going to live here."

"Your mommy says a lot of things."

He nodded and rolled the truck along the cushion.

I shut the front door behind me.

The porch light was still on.

On the bottom step sat a woman in a green wool coat, her dark hair tied back, a thermos beside her feet.

She stood up as soon as she saw me.

"Caleb Rutledge?"

I tightened my grip on the duffel.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Margo Linden. I'm Camille's half-sister."

I had never heard Camille say she had a sister.

"I was nineteen when Lorna sent me away," she said. "I haven't been inside that house for fifteen years. I came tonight because Lorna's cousin told me what she was planning."

"If you're here to talk me into staying, save it."

"I'm here to give you this."

She took an envelope out of her coat and held it out.

It was cream-colored and creased at the corners.

My name and my address were on the front, in handwriting I had never seen.

Across it, in red ink, someone had written: REFUSED. RETURN TO SENDER.

I knew that second handwriting.

It was on every birthday card I had been sent for eight years.

Lorna's.

"I mailed it four years ago," Margo said. "I told you about Jasper."

The envelope had never been opened.

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