Chapter 19: Her Own Place

The first thing in my new apartment was a mattress on the floor.

My lawyer's motion had come through on Friday morning, the day after Derek's attorney quit.

The judge released eleven thousand dollars of my mother's money.

I paid the deposit and the first month with my own check, and the landlord handed me two keys.

The place had two bedrooms, a window over Main Street, and no furniture except a mattress and a lamp.

June's room had a bed and a bear on it.

June herself was at her first sleepover, in a classmate's pink bedroom, with a permission slip I had signed three times.

I had told her she could call at any hour.

She had said, "Mommy, I'm six," and walked in without looking back.

Ross came at seven with a paper bag of dumplings and a bottle of cheap wine.

He stood in my empty living room and looked at the bare walls.

"It's a start," he said.

"It's mine."

"I can see that."

He set the bag down, and I locked the door behind him with my own key.

Then I turned around and put my back against it.

"Come here, Mr. Ellery," I said.

He crossed the room, and I took his tie in my fist and pulled him down.

I kissed him hard.

He made a low sound and pushed me against the door, and his hands went under my sweater.

"I was good all week," he said into my mouth.

"You were terrible all week. You told me you wanted my mouth with Jill standing right there."

"I said it on a curb."

"Jill heard."

"Jill is a professional."

I laughed, and he swallowed it, and I pulled his shirt up and over his head.

He got my sweater off, and my bra, and he lifted me with my back against the door.

My legs went around his hips.

"Mattress," I said.

"In a minute."

He carried me three steps and set my back against the wall by the window.

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