He Protected My Baby's Killer, So I Left Him novel · Chapter 1 of 24
Chapter 1: A Pen Beside My Pillow
Three days after Carina's car takes her baby, Livia signs the four men's paper, ends the wedding, and learns who is already sitting beside the groom.
Three days after Carina Mazzola's car hit me and I lost my baby, my fiancé walked into my hospital room with a pen.
Dominic had three men with him.
His two oldest friends, and the youngest of them, the one who used to carry my groceries up to the condo.
The four of them had grown up on one block of Federal Hill, and for ten years I had been the girl they all looked out for.
They had brought a folder instead of a card.
It was a settlement agreement written by Carina's lawyer.
Carina would pay my bills, I would never sue her, and everyone would stop talking about it.
The heavy one with the beard started. "She'd had wine at dinner, Liv. She hit the gas instead of the brake. It happens to people."
Emilio, the one in glasses, sat on the end of my bed. "Her brother died saving the four of us. We can't stand here and watch her go to prison."
Dominic looked out the window while Emilio said it.
He always looked at something else when Carina's brother came up.
Every June ninth he turned off his phone and drove to the bay alone, and I had learned not to ask.
The youngest took the police report out of my hand and laid it face down on the blanket.
"You're young," he said, quietly. "You'll have more."
Dominic put the pen down beside my pillow.
"Sign it, and we're back on track. The wedding is still ten days away."
I looked at the man I had loved since I was nineteen.
That morning the detective had shown me the street camera.
Carina's brake lights stayed dark the whole way down Atwells Avenue.
I had told Dominic on the phone. He had come with the pen anyway.
I opened the folder, turned to the last page and signed.
It was a money paper. The state's case against Carina belonged to the prosecutor, not to me, and the detective had said so.
I signed because I wanted the four of them calm when I said the rest.
They sat back at the same moment, all four, and Dominic reached for my hand.
I moved it.
"The wedding is off," I said.
Dominic gave me his calm smile. "Livia, you're angry. You have every right. But don't say things you can't take back."
"Three hundred people have the date, Liv," Emilio added.
I took off my ring and put it on the tray table beside the water jug.
Dominic didn't pick it up.
"You all keep saying you owe her brother your lives," I said. "Then pay him back with your own. Don't pay him with mine."
The heavy one rubbed his face. "Does she have to sit in a cell for you to feel like your baby got justice?"
"Carina's brother mattered more than my child?"
"That's not what I said."
"Life goes on," the heavy one said, to the floor. "She's still here, Liv."
That was Paolo. He had been the first one through the door the night of the accident.
He had held my hand and sworn that whoever did this would not walk away from it.
Three days later he was asking me to forget it.
Dominic's phone rang.
He answered before the second ring and listened with his jaw set.
"Lock your door," he said. "Don't go outside. We're coming."
Emilio already had his coat. "Somebody posted her address. Her garage door is covered in red paint, and there are people on her lawn calling her a murderer."
All four of them went for the door.
"The doctor said I might spike a fever tonight," I said. "Somebody should stay."
Dominic stopped with his hand on the frame.
He looked at my face for a moment, then reached over and pressed the nurse call button.
"The nurse is right outside. I'll be back as soon as I've handled this."
The door clicked shut behind them.
A nurse took my temperature, which was 102, and told me to have someone bring me clean clothes and plain food.
I texted Dominic.
An hour went by with no answer.
I sent the same message to Paolo, Emilio and the youngest.
Four messages, and no one wrote back.
In the end a nurse brought me soup from the cafeteria herself.
Near midnight, shaking with fever, I saw my phone light up on the pillow.
Carina had posted a photo.
Dominic, Paolo, Emilio and the youngest sat around her dining table with plates in front of them.
Her caption said: Thank God. Whatever happens, you always come.
When I was nineteen and caught in a storm, those same four had taken turns sitting by my bed with ginger ale and wet towels.
They had told me that kind of care was only for me.
It was never only for me. I was one of the people they came for, and tonight I was not the one they chose.
In the morning there was one text from Dominic.
Carina had nightmares all night, so I stayed. You have nurses. You'll be fine.
I didn't answer him.
I called the wedding planner instead.
She hesitated. "Ms. Santangelo, Mr. Ardito confirmed the final schedule a half hour ago. He says everything is going ahead."
I watched the sky turn white over the parking structure.
So I cancelled my wedding.
"Cancel the hall, the dress, the flowers and the guest list."
"There's a large cancellation fee."
"I know. Cancel it."
She was quiet, then typed something.
"I should tell you, in case it matters," she said. "Ms. Mazzola called yesterday to ask for the seat beside the groom."
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