His Whole Family Was in on Our Fake Relationship, Except Him novel · Chapter 1 of 24
Chapter 1: Seven Rules
Isak hands his fake girlfriend a typed sheet of seven rules, and her phone lights up with a family group chat asking if he's buying it.
Isak Moen handed me a typed list of rules before he put on his seat belt.
It was Thursday, six o'clock, and I was parked outside his building on East Fourth Street in Duluth.
The engine was running.
He had come down the steps in a gray cardigan.
He carried a garment bag over one arm and a manila folder in the other hand.
His blond hair was combed flat, and his rimless glasses caught the streetlight.
He looked like a man going to his own tax audit.
"Thank you for doing this," he said.
"You're welcome," I said.
"Kari's wedding has a hundred guests," he said. "One of them is my ex-fiancee, Whitney."
"I know," I said. "You told me on the phone."
"I want you to read the sheet before we get to the lodge."
"There's a sheet?"
"There is a sheet," he said, and held out the folder.
I turned on the dome light and opened it.
Inside was one page, printed, with a heading in bold that said TERMS OF THE WEEKEND.
I read it out loud, because he looked like he wanted me to.
"Rule one. Hands only where people can see."
"For clarity," he said.
"Rule two. No real feelings, in either direction."
"That one is important."
"Rule three. One bed means one person sleeps on the floor. The floor person is Isak."
"I'm not going to argue about that one."
"Rule four. We end it politely the Monday after the wedding."
He nodded at the windshield.
"Rule five. Nobody outside this sheet is told."
"My family can't know," he said. "They've been very worried about me, and I won't have them worried about this too."
I kept my face still.
It was harder than it should have been.
"Rule six," I read. "No sex."
I looked up.
His ears had gone pink.
"Is that a problem you see coming?" I asked.
"It's a precaution."
"Against what?"
"Against the two of us in a cabin for three days," he said. "I've done the math on how these things go."
"You've done the math."
"I'm an engineer."
"Rule seven." I read it slowly. "If either of us lies or breaks a rule, the arrangement ends that day."
"That's the one that protects us both."
I looked at him for a second.
He had hazel eyes behind the glasses and a small, tired line between his brows.
I had first noticed that line at Kari's graduation, when he carried her boxes to the car and made no jokes at all.
He had made no jokes since, as far as Kari could tell.
"I'll need a pen," I said.
He took a black pen out of his cardigan pocket and uncapped it for me.
I signed under the line that said Roz Tennant, and he signed under the line that said Isak Moen.
Then he made a small, worried noise and reached across the console.
"Your collar's folded in," he said.
His fingertips touched the side of my neck as he fixed it.
They were warm, and very careful, and they stayed one second longer than collars need.
He pulled his hand back and looked at the dashboard.
"That doesn't count," he said. "It's not in front of anyone."
"No," I said. "Nobody saw."
I put the car in gear.
An hour up the shore, I pulled into a gas station in Two Harbors.
Isak had said he would not feel right until he'd paid for something.
I had told him twice that I didn't want money.
I had told him that nobody was paying me and that he couldn't tip me.
I had told him this was a favor from a friend of his sister.
He had written down "gas" on a small notepad anyway.
He went in to buy a receipt and two seltzers.
My phone buzzed in the cup holder.
Then it buzzed again.
I picked it up.
The chat was called Operation Isak, and it had four people in it: his mother, his sister, his brother and me.
Solveig had written first.
"Is he in the car? Is he eating? Does he look thin?"
Kari had written second.
"He printed something, didn't he. He's printed a SHEET."
Leif had written third, with a lot of exclamation marks.
"Did he put in a rule about not touching you? Tell me there's a rule about not touching you."
I typed with my thumbs.
"Seven rules. Signed in the car. Rule six is no sex."
Kari sent three crying faces.
Leif sent a picture of a fire truck, which didn't mean anything.
Solveig wrote, "Be gentle with him. He believes it was all his own idea."
The door of the gas station swung open.
Isak came out with two seltzers and a receipt held in front of him.
I put the phone face down on my knee.
He got in and handed me a can.
"Everything all right?" he asked.
"Perfect," I said, and started the car.
Want to keep talking to characters like these? Chat with AI romance characters: AI Boyfriend · AI Girlfriend · Dark Romance · Fantasy Romance · BL (Boys’ Love) · Billionaire Boyfriend · Mafia Boyfriend · Possessive Boyfriend · Hockey Boyfriend · Older Boyfriend · K-Drama Boyfriend · Anime Boyfriend · Vampire Boyfriend · Werewolf Boyfriend · Demon Boyfriend · Fae Romance · GL (Girls’ Love) · Anime Girlfriend · Goth & Alt Girlfriend · Gamer Girlfriend · Tsundere Girlfriend · Fantasy Girlfriend