Chapter 10: Was Any of It Real

At nine the next morning I walked through the front gate of the Meridian lot without a badge.

The guard in the booth looked at me, and I looked at him.

"Mr. Burdick built that gate," he said slowly.

"I did."

"Ms. Montague is in the third trailer on the left," he said, and raised the arm.

I walked in.

The restraining order said five hundred feet, and I broke it with every step.

Maura had stayed in the car outside, and she'd said one thing before I got out.

*Whatever you ask her, ask it once.*

The third trailer had a gold star on the door.

I opened it without knocking.

Lena sat in a makeup chair in a robe with a towel around her hair, and two stylists hovered over her with brushes.

She saw me in the mirror.

For a second her hand went to her stomach.

Then she waved her fingers at the stylists.

"Give us the room, please," she said brightly. "My friend is upset."

They left without a word.

The door clicked shut, and the pretty voice went out of her.

"You're violating a court order," Lena said, to the mirror. "I could have you arrested in front of your mother's neighbors."

"Go ahead."

"I'm busy. I have a rehearsal in an hour."

"I want to ask you one question."

"Then ask it."

I walked up behind her chair until I could see both of our faces in the glass.

She looked tired, and under the makeup she looked her age, and she did not look sorry at all.

"Was any of it real?"

She turned the chair around slowly and looked up at me.

For a moment I thought I saw something in her face, something I had spent seven years believing was in there.

Then it went away.

"Seven years ago," Lena said, "you were useful."

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