My Crush Has Always Been Me novel · Chapter 1 of 24
Chapter 1: Move-In Day
Jesse arrives at Halbrook, meets Nate again, and is warned off by Pierce; a note under his door says go home.
Jesse Larkin had practiced one sentence for a whole year, and it was "Hey, Nate."
He stood on the Halbrook quad with a box of books in his arms and could not say it.
Nate Brandvold was walking toward him across the grass in a gray team shirt, laughing at something on his phone.
He had dark blond hair, wide shoulders, and the small scar on his chin that Jesse knew by heart.
Jesse had been eighteen the last time he saw that scar up close.
It was October then, and he had visited his brother for a weekend.
Nate had handed him a coffee without asking how he took it, and got it right.
Jesse had thought about that coffee for ten months.
"Jess!" Cal shouted from the car, where he was dragging out a lamp. "Quit staring and carry something!"
Nate looked up, and his whole face changed.
"Hey, kid," he said. "You made it."
Jesse's mouth opened, and the practiced sentence ran away.
"Hey," he said. "Yeah. I'm here."
Nate stepped in and took the box out of his arms.
"Marsh House, third floor?" Nate asked.
"How do you know my room?" Jesse said.
Nate paused for half a second. "Cal told me."
Cal came up behind them with the lamp under one arm and clapped Nate on the back.
"He's all yours until I find parking," Cal said. "Don't let him carry anything heavy. He's nineteen going on twelve."
"I'm nineteen, not twelve," Jesse said.
"Prove it by getting your own mattress," Cal said, and jogged off laughing.
Nate shook his head and smiled at the ground.
They climbed the stairs of Marsh House together.
Nate went first with the box, and Jesse tried very hard to look at the steps and not at Nate's back.
He failed twice.
On the third floor, the hallway was full of parents and rolling carts and one loud speaker playing country music.
Nate set the box down outside room 312 and leaned on the doorframe.
"If you need anything this year, you tell me," he said. "Anything. Cal's busy with his senior project."
"I won't need anything," Jesse said.
He did not mean it to sound sharp, but it came out that way.
Nate's eyebrows went up. "Okay."
"I mean, I'll be fine," Jesse said quickly. "But thanks. For the box. And for being nice."
"I'm not being nice," Nate said, quietly. "I'm being your friend."
Something in Jesse's chest turned over and settled again.
"Well, well," said a smooth voice behind them.
A tall guy in a green Halbrook Swim jacket was leaning on the opposite wall with his arms crossed.
He had tan skin, black hair gelled into place, and a smile that did not reach his eyes.
"Pierce," Nate said. His voice went flat.
"Captain," Pierce said, still smiling. "And this is the famous little brother?"
"This is Jesse," Nate said. "Jesse, this is Pierce Dowling. He's on the team."
"Co-captain," Pierce said, and held out a hand.
Jesse shook it, and Pierce squeezed too hard.
"I've heard a lot about you," Pierce said. "Nate talks about you all the time."
Jesse looked at Nate in surprise.
Nate was looking at Pierce, and his jaw had gone tight.
"Do I?" Nate said.
"Constantly," Pierce said. "Anyway. Welcome to Halbrook, Jesse. Just stay in your lane. A lot of people here get hurt when they don't."
Nate pushed off the doorframe. "Pierce."
"Just being friendly," Pierce said, and walked down the hall with his hands in his pockets.
The country music got louder.
Jesse stared after him.
"Ignore him," Nate said. "He's all talk."
"He squeezed my hand until it hurt," Jesse said.
"I know." Nate rubbed the back of his neck. "I'll handle it."
"No," Jesse said.
He had not planned to say it.
"I can handle my own hand," he said. "I'm not going to hide in my room because some guy in a jacket doesn't like me."
Nate looked at him for a long moment, and then he smiled, slow and surprised.
"Okay," he said. "Noted."
That night, Cal went home to his own apartment and Hank fell asleep with his phone on his chest.
Jesse lay in the dark and replayed it.
Nate's smile.
The coffee.
"Hey, kid. You made it."
He rolled over and saw a white square on the floor by the door.
It was a folded piece of paper that someone had slid under it.
He got up and opened it with cold fingers.
One line in black marker, in block letters.
GO HOME BEFORE YOU GET HURT.
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