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My Future Doesn't Have Room for You novel · Chapter 3 of 24

Chapter 3: The Notice

At a family dinner Janet puts a paper in front of Hallie to sign, and for the first time Hallie says no.

On Tuesday, Janet was nicer to me than she had been in ten years.

She woke me herself at seven and said I could skip the laundry.

She made me a plate of pancakes, which she had never done.

I ate carefully and watched the mail slot in the front door.

At noon the mail came, and I saw her take two envelopes into the pantry and close the door.

She was in there a long time.

When she came out, she was smiling.

"We're having people over tonight," she said. "A few couples from church. Wear the blue sweater."

I wore the blue sweater.

By six o'clock the dining room table had a white cloth on it and the good plates.

For the first time, there was a place set for me.

It was at the far end, beside Gary, with the cloth napkin folded in a fan.

Two couples from church sat across from the twins.

Kayla looked at me with her chin up and her phone in her lap.

"Before we eat," Janet said, standing with her glass, "I want to share some wonderful news."

Everyone turned.

"Our Hallie has been accepted to the University of Pennsylvania."

The church couples gasped and clapped.

One of the wives put her hand on her heart.

"With a full scholarship," Janet said. "We are so proud. We have always said she could do anything."

Under the table, Gary's knee began to bounce.

I understood then that the envelope from Penn had come that day with the other one.

Janet had opened both.

"Thank you," I said, because it was what everyone was waiting for.

"Now, of course, college is complicated," Janet said, sitting down. "There are so many forms. Aid, accounts, benefits. We've always handled everything for you, and we want to keep it simple."

She slid a folded paper across the cloth.

It stopped beside my fork.

I opened it.

It was one page, printed, with a line at the bottom for my signature.

I read the top three lines.

It gave Janet Bellinger control of every account, payment and aid disbursement in my name, from the day I signed until I finished college.

One of the church wives leaned over.

"Is that for the scholarship?"

"Just housekeeping," Janet said. "Hallie knows we only want what's best."

Everyone was looking at me.

Kayla had picked up her phone and was holding it at the edge of the table.

I thought of the number on Esther's envelope.

I thought of three hundred and eighty dollars a month and my basement bed with a wet jacket on it.

I put the paper down.

"No," I said.

Nobody moved.

Janet's smile stayed exactly where it was.

"Sweetheart. You're tired."

"I'm not signing it."

"Hallie." Her voice was low and warm. "You don't understand what it takes to manage this kind of money."

"I understand that it's sixteen hundred and forty dollars a month."

The warmth went out of her face.

"I called Social Security on Friday," I said. "As of the next payment, the money comes to me. I'm my own payee now."

One of the husbands put down his fork.

Gary stared at the tablecloth.

"That is family money," Janet said, loudly now. "We have fed you and housed you for ten years. Do you know what you cost?"

"I know what I got," I said. "Three hundred and eighty dollars a month and the basement."

"You ungrateful little--"

"Tell me where the rest went."

Kayla laughed, short and nervous.

"Mom, she's just trying to make us look bad."

"I'm trying to find out where it went," I said.

Janet stood up.

The church couples were staring now, and I saw one of the wives glance at the matching key fobs lying by the door.

Janet saw it too.

She smoothed her cardigan and smiled at them, a different smile, thin and quick.

"I'm so sorry, everyone. She's had a hard week. Would you excuse us?"

They did not say anything, but they got their coats.

The door shut behind them.

Janet turned and looked at me for a long time.

"Do you think you can talk to me that way in my own house?"

My own house, she called it.

Behind her on the wall, the clock ticked.

I should have been afraid.

Instead I felt something I had never felt in that room, which was calm.

"I'm not signing it," I said again.

"Then pack your things."

"Janet," Gary said, very quietly.

"Be quiet, Gary."

She did not look at him.

"You have until I count to ten," she said. "Then you are out of this house."

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