She Sent Me Nudes of My Husband novel · Chapter 14 of 24
Chapter 14: The Farmhouse
We put my mother in Delaney's old room.
Sam turned back the quilt himself and found a flannel nightgown in the dresser.
I changed her out of the hospital gown while she hummed.
She was asleep in four minutes, with one hand curled under her cheek.
I stood in the doorway and watched her breathe.
Then my knees started to go.
I made it to the kitchen and sat down in the yellow chair.
The clock shaped like an apple said ten past two.
Sam put a pan on the stove without asking.
He cracked three eggs into it and cut bread, and he put the plate in front of me.
"My mother says I never eat when I'm worried," I said.
"She's right."
"She remembered that."
"Eat."
I picked up the fork.
My hand was shaking so badly the egg fell off.
I put the fork down and looked at it.
"They moved her in a wheelchair, in a hallway, at midnight," I said.
"She didn't know me.
"She asked who I was, and I'm the only one she has left."
My voice cracked on the last word.
Sam crossed the kitchen and pulled the other chair around until our knees touched.
He did not say it was all right.
He took the fork out of my hand and put his arms around me.
I was crying before I could stop it.
I cried into his canvas shirt for a long time, and he held the back of my head in one big palm and said nothing.
When I was done, I pulled back and wiped my face on my wrist.
"I'm sorry. I don't do this."
"You can do it here."
"You've done too much already. The barn and the truck and my mother in your sister's bed.
"I don't know how to pay you back."
"Leah."
"I'm serious. I don't want to owe a man anything again."
He looked at me.
"Nobody owes anybody," he said. "Those were the terms."
"That was before."
"Before what?"
I looked at his mouth.
I had been trying not to for two weeks.
"Before I knew what your hands felt like," I said.
He went completely still.
"I'm still married," I said.
"You said that last night."
"I did."
"You're also tired and scared, and I won't be the thing you do about it."
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