Starside novel · Chapter 12 of 24

Chapter 12: After

"Then say it," I said.

I lay with my cheek on his chest and his heart beating under my ear.

"I can't."

"Because of the cord?"

"Because of you."

I lifted my head.

His face was a hand's width from mine, drawn and gray in the dark.

"You made a rule," he said. "Nothing about Emberfold until the Pool. I'm keeping it. Even now."

"This isn't Emberfold."

"It is," he said quietly. "It's the only thing it ever was."

I sat up.

The cloak slid down my shoulders, and I pulled it back up over my breasts.

Something closed hard inside me.

"You gave her sixty-four names," I said, "and you can't even give me one answer."

"Sorrel."

"No. You said you'd come back at nine. You never did."

"I know."

"I sat in that loft with a candle until the roof came down.

"I got out because the beam fell the wrong way. Did you know that?"

"I know."

"Did you know my brother had a hammer in his hand when they found him?"

His whole face changed.

He closed his eyes, and I saw a muscle jump in his jaw.

"Yes," he said.

"Then say something!"

"Nothing I say will be enough." He opened his eyes.

"So I'll say the one true thing I can, and then I'll keep your rule."

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