The Man Who Can't Let Her Go novel · Chapter 19 of 24

Chapter 19: The Radiator

At two in the morning on the second night, the radiator in the hallway died.

Lydia heard it from her bed, a long knock in the pipes and then silence.

By three the window glass had gone white at the edges.

She lay under two blankets and told herself that she did not care.

At ten past three she got up and opened the door.

Hayden was sitting on the landing with his back to the wall and his coat buttoned to the chin.

His lips were gray.

He had not moved from that spot since sunset.

"You'll freeze," she said.

"I'm fine."

"Your teeth are chattering."

"That's the draft."

"I'm a nurse, Hayden. Get up."

He tried, and his knees did not work, and she caught him under the arm.

She felt how cold his sleeve was through the wool.

She hauled him in and shut the door behind him on the hallway.

"Sit," she said, and pushed him onto the couch.

She pulled his shoes off herself.

She rubbed his hands between hers until they hurt, and made him drink hot water with sugar in it, and wrapped the quilt around his shoulders.

He watched her work with his mouth slightly open.

"You've done this for children," he said.

"For six-year-olds. They complain less."

"Lydia."

"Not a word," she said. "This is for the cold. It is not for you."

He nodded.

She sat down on the floor in front of him with her back against the couch and her head tipped against his knee.

Neither of them spoke.

His hand came down onto her hair, and stopped, and waited.

She let it stay.

After a while she turned and looked at him.

He was already looking at her, with the blanket pulled up to his jaw and his eyes dark and awake.

"I read your letter nine times," she said. "Is it true? You stepped down?"

"For a year."

"You love that firm."

"I love it less than I thought."

"Say it plainly."

"It's the cheapest thing I owned, and I treated it as the dearest," he said. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never came. I'm sorry I'm not sorry enough in words."

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