The One He Never Held novel · Chapter 18 of 24

Chapter 18: Don't Mistake This

That night I sat on the fire escape outside Tim's kitchen window with a blanket round my shoulders.

The rain had stopped. The street below shone.

The window slid up behind me, and Damian climbed out and sat on the iron step beside me.

He did not touch me.

I noticed that he didn't, and I noticed that my whole side wanted him to.

"Hailey is asleep," he said. "Tim put a chair against the door and swears he won't sleep."

"He's been saying that since we were kids."

"Does he ever?"

"Always. Tim snores like a truck."

He smiled a little at the street. Then it faded.

"Jo, about tomorrow."

"I want to say something first."

"Go on."

My heart was beating too hard. I had carried this sentence for four years and had never once said it out loud, not even to the notebook.

"The night before our wedding," I said, "you sat across your desk with the card of rules. When I stood up to go, you said, 'Don't mistake this for anything.'"

He went still.

"I said, 'I won't.' And I walked out into the elevator and I stood there with my hand over my mouth."

"Jo."

"I had decided I wouldn't fall for you." I laughed, and it hurt. "You said it so kindly, like you were doing me a favor."

"I said it because I was afraid."

"I know that now. Tonight, on this step, I know it. But I carried it for four years, and in all that time it was true every day."

"What was true?"

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