They Never Saved Me a Seat, So I Built My Own Table novel · Chapter 11 of 24

Chapter 11: What I Asked For

I unfolded the chair at the bottom of my mother's front steps and did not sit on it.

Behind me, the whole house was coming out onto the stoop.

My aunt came first with Lucia against her shoulder, then the uncles, then the cousins in their party clothes.

Dario came up the walk from where he had been standing with Seth.

Franco and Tommy stopped at the top step and came no farther.

The street was quiet except for a lit plastic reindeer buzzing on the lawn next door.

Two neighbors had come out to look.

My mother stood in the doorway with a dish towel, and she did not say a word.

"I'm going to say this once," I said. "Then I'll go back to the airport hotel and none of you have to look at me."

"Paola, it's Christmas Eve," said my aunt.

"I know. That's why it has to be tonight."

I looked at Lucia.

"Sophomore year, over coffee at the diner, you asked if I minded being left off the gift list."

"Paola..."

"I said no. I told you I was embarrassed that I couldn't pay my share, and I said you could skip me, just for that year."

My brother frowned. "What year?"

"The year I worked three jobs," I said. "You all thought I was busy."

Nobody spoke.

"That was my part," I said. "I asked for it, and I said it with a smile, and I said okay every time after that, because I was too proud to say I'd changed my mind."

"I own that," I said. "I'm not going to pretend I don't."

Tommy shook his head slowly. "Pao, you don't have to..."

"But I asked for it for one year. I did not ask Lucia to tell all of you I didn't care."

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