You've Been Replaced, First Love novel · Chapter 20 of 24

Chapter 20: Sawdust and Gold

He clicked on both lamps, and the loft turned the color of honey.

The slanted ceiling glowed.

Every plank of the floor showed, and the gray quilt, and the dark window over the street.

I had spent five years undressing in the dark for a man who liked me best in shadow.

I did not know where to put my arms.

Maddox shut the door behind us and turned the deadbolt.

"Don't cover up," he said.

"I'm not."

"You're about to."

I put my hands at my sides.

He stood at the foot of the bed with his flannel half unbuttoned.

He looked at me in the full light, from my pink glasses to my boots.

It took a long time.

I felt it everywhere.

"Take your glasses off," he said. "Then the rest."

"You want me blind?"

"I want you to feel it. I'll tell you everything you can't see."

I set the glasses on the table.

The room went soft at the edges.

I unhooked the straps of my overalls and let the stiff denim fall.

I stepped out of it.

I pulled his old flannel over my head and dropped it.

I stood in my underwear, solid and soft and flecked with gold to the elbows, with the lamps on every inch.

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