Chapter 13: Wanting Nothing

"Read it again," Dottie said. "Slowly. With feeling."

We were in the east guest room at seven in the morning, on the bed, with my legal pad in the middle.

I had spent the whole night writing a list.

"Things I Want," I read. "One, my own bed back in Riverside."

"Is that a throne?" Frankie asked, holding a statute book open on his knee.

"It's a twin."

"Not a throne. Next."

"Two, the good shampoo from the third bathroom."

"Is a bottle of shampoo a seat?"

"It's a bottle of shampoo, Frankie."

"I have to ask every time. If I skip one, it's on me."

Dottie had a yellow highlighter.

She marked each line as it passed.

"Three," I said. "A second helping of the lemon cake. Four, the third armchair in the library. Five, my sister's dress back, with the hem fixed."

"Highlighted. Highlighted. Highlighted."

"Six, Lucan at breakfast."

Dottie's highlighter stopped.

"At breakfast," I said. "Eating things. Nothing else."

"Mm-hm."

"It's a perfectly reasonable item."

"Is it a throne?" Frankie asked, and looked at the ceiling to be fair.

I did not answer, so Dottie highlighted it twice.

That wasn't proof, so I tested myself properly.

I walked the length of the great hall at nine o'clock, when the staff lines up for the morning bow.

Forty-one wolves bowed as I passed.

I wanted to be sick.

I said "Sorry" to the first one, "Please don't" to the second, and by the tenth I was apologizing to each wolf by name.

The housekeeper whispered, "My lady, they're required to do it."

"Then I'm required to say sorry," I said, and kept going.

That was the whole test.

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