Chapter 12: The Dress

Nathan found me on his roof at midnight, holding my father's wrench.

I had taken it from the flat that afternoon.

It was a twelve-inch adjustable with a worn red handle, and I carried it everywhere that week.

"That's a nice weapon," he said.

"It's a wrench."

"In your hands it's a weapon."

He sat down on the low wall beside me and handed me a mug of tea.

"You went quiet two days ago. I let you."

"I know. Thank you."

"Do you want to tell me?"

I told him about the Explanation of Benefits.

I said it flatly, and I watched his face change.

He went still, and then he went white around the mouth.

Nathan put his mug down on the stone and stood, and I thought he was going to leave.

He walked three steps to the edge of the terrace and put both hands on the rail.

His shoulders shook once.

"I would like very much," he said, in a voice I'd never heard, "to be somewhere with him alone."

"Come back," I said.

He came back.

I took his face in both my hands.

"You are not going to hit him."

"You're not going to be in the papers for assault."

"I need you at the gala in a good suit, looking like a man who has never raised his voice."

"That's cruel."

"It's effective."

His mouth twitched, in spite of himself.

"Fine. A good suit."

"And you stand in the back."

"The back?"

"I stand alone, Nathan."

"For ten years I stood behind a man."

"Tomorrow I walk up there by myself."

"But I'd like to know you're watching."

He looked at me for a long time.

"I'll watch," he said. "I'll watch you all night."

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