Five of Us at Christmas, But They Only Ordered Four Cookies novel · Chapter 1 of 24
Chapter 1: Four Cookies
The holiday cookie box arrives with four slots and four names; Hannah, who always says fine, stops saying it, and finds the bakery note that says she is moving out.
Zelda was filming when I walked in, and the first thing I saw was the red phone case pointed at a box on our kitchen table.
"Perfect timing," she said. "Don't touch it yet."
I did not touch it.
I was still in my scrubs, with dog hair on my sleeves and a bag of groceries on my hip.
The box was red-and-green plaid with a velvet ribbon, the kind of box you pay extra for.
My boyfriend stood behind it with his hands folded, proud of himself.
"Custom Christmas cookies," he said. "I ordered them for the five of us. Three weeks ago. Trust me, you're going to love it."
My brother was already at the table with a fork in his hand for no reason.
"Hannah, you do the ribbon," he said. "You're the neat one."
That was my job in this apartment.
I was the neat one, the one who paid on time, the one who said fine.
I put down the groceries, and Lacey took them from the counter before I could.
"I've got those," our cousin said. "Sit. You look wrecked. I left soup in the pot."
Lacey always left soup in the pot.
"Thanks," I said. "Oh, and the radiator in my room is working again. Emmett fixed it. The guy across the landing."
"Emmett," Lacey said. "Which Emmett?"
"Garrick. Three-A."
"The one with the beard?"
"That's him."
She typed it into her phone. "Emmett, 3A. I'll make him a thank-you card. He's helping all of us."
I thought that was kind.
I pulled the ribbon, and the lid came off, and Zelda leaned in so the camera got everything.
Inside the box was a tray of sugar cookies, each one iced with a name.
TOBIAS. LACEY. ZELDA. CHAD.
There were four slots in the tray.
I stared down at them.
The tray had been cut for four.
"Aw," Zelda said, still filming. "Our four."
Nobody said anything else.
"Where's mine?" I asked.
Chad, my boyfriend of two years, scratched the back of his neck. "The bakery must have messed up the count. I'll call them Monday."
"You ordered for five."
"I did. Hannah, it's one cookie."
"It's not one cookie," I said. "It's four slots. Somebody told them four."
"Han." Tobias put his fork down. "Don't make this a thing. Look at the tray. It's cute. It's Christmas."
Zelda lowered her phone. "I already posted it, by the way. Before you got home. It already has thirty views."
She turned the screen so I could see.
The post was a video of this table and this box, with a caption across it.
Our four, forever.
It had been up for forty minutes.
"You posted it before I was here," I said.
"I mean, you weren't here."
Lacey stepped in between us. She picked up her own cookie, broke it neatly in half, and held half out to me.
"Take mine," she said. "I don't even like gingerbread. Please. Hannah, take it."
She was smiling, and her eyes were wet, and I knew exactly what the room wanted me to say.
Fine.
Thanks, Lace.
It's honestly fine.
I had said it a hundred times in this kitchen.
When Chad forgot my birthday dinner, I said fine.
When Zelda moved my name off the group trip list to make space for a friend, I said fine.
I looked at the half cookie in her hand.
"No, thank you," I said.
The whole room went still.
"I'm not eating tonight," I said. "And Friday dinner is over. Don't wait for me anymore. Not ever."
"Hannah," Tobias said.
"Eat your cookies."
I picked up the lid to put it back on the box, because someone had to be neat.
A slip of paper was taped inside the lid, folded small.
It was the bakery's printed order slip, with a handwritten note at the bottom.
Qty: 4 only. Names as listed. Hannah is moving out in December, no fifth needed.
I read it standing up, with all of them watching me.
Then I read it out loud.
Nobody looked at me.
Chad looked at Lacey, and Lacey looked at her half cookie, and Tobias said, very softly:
"Han. You told Lacey that yourself."
I had never told anyone.
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