He Gave Our Family Speech With His Ex, So I Took the Mic novel · Chapter 12 of 24
Chapter 12: Not a Secret
June fell asleep at noon with her head on my lap and the blue folder on her chest.
I didn't move for an hour.
When she woke up, her eyes were puffy, and she looked at me carefully, waiting to see if I was still upset.
"Are we going to the park?" she asked.
"Not today," I said. "Today we're going to talk. Just you and me."
I sat her on Jill's couch with the bear on one side and me on the other.
My lawyer had said not to ask her questions.
My lawyer had not said I couldn't tell her something true.
"June, I need you to listen to me," I said. "A secret is something you keep because it's fun. Like a present."
"Like my surprise."
"But when a grown-up tells a child to hide something from her mommy, and says it will be her fault if she tells, that isn't a secret. It's a rule he shouldn't have made."
She picked at the bear's bow.
"Daddy made the rule."
"He did," I said. "And a grown-up breaking a promise to a little girl isn't the little girl's fault. Not ever."
"But Eli doesn't have a daddy."
"Eli has a mommy who loves him," I said. "That isn't yours to fix, baby. It was never your job."
She was quiet for a long time.
"Are you going to divorce Daddy?"
I hadn't said the word in front of her.
"Who told you that word?"
"Aunt Jill's phone."
"Jill," I said.
"I didn't say it was a bad word," Jill said, from the kitchen doorway, utterly unrepentant. "She asked."
I laughed in spite of myself, and June, watching my face, laughed too, a thin, relieved sound.
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