He Said Losing My Emotions Was Better, Then He Begged Me to Feel Again novel · Chapter 8 of 24

Chapter 8: Walking Out

Miranda's POV

Odile Draper looked at me across her own dining table and did not stand up.

"Miranda, dear," she said. "You came in through the kitchen."

"The front door was a long way to walk."

"How much did you hear?"

"All of it. Your plan. Your husband. The eggs."

Orson had not moved.

He was gripping the edge of the table with both hands, and tears ran down his face without a sound.

I knew what I'd have felt, hearing it.

I had a word for it, and I couldn't reach the thing.

"You told Gillian to lie to me," I said. "You told your son he'd grow into it."

"I told them both what they needed in order to go forward."

"You sent me to that Stone to be emptied so you could have what came out."

"I sent you to be spared." She said it gently. "I did try to be kind. You'll thank me one day, when you've seen what feeling does to people."

"I've seen it," I said. "I watched it for eight days from across a barn."

I stepped into the room.

"Here's what I understand, Mrs. Draper. I'm numb, and it's the worst thing that has ever happened to me, and I know it's the worst thing because I can still do the arithmetic."

"Miranda."

"You told a room full of people that this was a mercy. You've been telling them for thirty years. Every woman in the founding families who's come to that Stone afraid has looked at you and decided it must be bearable."

Odile folded her hands.

"It is bearable," she said.

"It's not bearable. It's just quiet."

For the first time in all the years I'd known her, something crossed her face.

It was very brief, a tightening at the corner of her mouth.

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