Chapter 18: Hotpot and Cows

Grandma Bronze oiled the bed springs at seven, with the door open and a very straight face.

Jude stood in the hall with his coffee and could not look at anyone.

Ken, behind him, had a hand over his mouth.

"The squeak is gone," Grandma said, and went out to the barn.

July leaned out of the front room in her robe.

"What squeak?" she asked brightly.

"Nothing, Mom."

"I slept like a baby. Nobody could have heard a thing."

"Mom."

"I'm just saying. Very quiet house."

William appeared behind her and said, mildly, "July, leave the boys alone," and Jude found that this was worse.

After breakfast Grandma put a pail in his hand.

"Cows don't wait," she said. "Come on."

The barn was cool and dim, and the cow was enormous.

She turned her head and looked at Jude with huge wet eyes.

"This is Bernadette," Grandma said. "Sit on the stool. Talk to her first."

"What do I say?"

"Anything. She likes a compliment."

Jude sat on the stool, and put his forehead against Bernadette's side, and said, "You have a lovely coat."

The cow shifted.

"Now hands. Gently. Like you're shaking hands with her."

Jude took hold, squeezed, and got nothing.

He tried again.

He got a thin, outraged stream across his own knee.

Behind him, Ken was laughing so hard he had to hold the post.

"It's not funny," Jude said. "I'm being assaulted by a cow."

"You're doing great."

"I'm wet."

"You're doing so well."

On the fourth try he found a steady rhythm, and the milk rang in the bottom of the pail.

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