Chapter 13: Uncashed

I woke up in Gina's bed with sun on my face.

It was the first time I had seen that room in daylight.

The walls were brick, painted white a long time ago, and the quilt smelled like cedar.

The cashier's check stood against the lamp on the nightstand, where one of us had propped it before we fell asleep.

Forty-one thousand dollars, in the morning light, looked like a very small piece of paper.

Gina lay on her side watching me.

Her hair was flat on one side and the scar through her eyebrow looked pale against her skin.

"You're up early," I said.

"I've been up an hour."

"Doing what?"

"Looking at you. Making sure you were still here."

I turned my face into the pillow so she wouldn't see me smile.

Then I reached over, picked up the check, and held it between us.

"I'm not cashing this."

"I know."

"You know?"

"You said it last night with your hands on my face."

"I believed you." She took the check gently from my fingers. "But I can't put it back in the drawer, Rae."

"It's been in there two years."

"I look at it and I feel like a thief."

"A thief."

"I took a gift that wasn't meant for me."

"It was meant for your father's gym."

"Then it was meant for the kids who use the side door."

I sat up against the headboard and pulled the quilt over my chest.

"Say that again."

"The kids."

"I keep that door open the way he did," I said. "I never once thought about who might hold it for me."

"Then let someone."

"I'd like that."

"And you've been running a free program for how long?"

"Since I was twenty-six. Since the mortgage."

"How much does it cost you a year?"

She looked away.

"Gina."

"Eleven thousand, give or take. Gloves, shoes, the van insurance. Sasha's amateur fees come out of it."

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