Chapter 23: Christmas Morning

We got back to his apartment after midnight, and I didn't turn on a light.

Biscuit yelled at us from the arm of the couch, and Eli fed him in the dark.

I stood in the middle of the room with my coat on and Nonna's ring in my pocket.

My hands were shaking now that nothing was left to do.

Eli came and stood in front of me.

"You can fall apart," he said. "I've got the floor."

"I don't want to fall apart."

"What do you want?"

I looked up at him.

His gray eyes were steady, and he had stood in a cold car for an hour for me.

"I want it slow," I said. "Slower than last time. I want to take all night."

His breath went out of him.

"The slower one sets the pace," he said.

"Yes."

"Then set it."

I took his hand and put it on the first button of my blouse.

"Here," I said. "One at a time."

He undid it slowly.

At every button, he stopped and kissed the skin it uncovered.

My collarbone first, then the hollow below it, then the soft place between my breasts.

I was gripping his shoulders by then, and my knees weren't reliable.

"Eli."

"Still your pace?"

"Slower," I said, and he laughed against my ribs, and the sound made me burn.

I got his shirt off him.

I put my palms flat on his chest and felt his heart going hard.

I leaned in and put my mouth where his pulse beat in his throat.

He said my name against my skin, and I didn't hear any pity in it at all.