I Told My Therapist About My Stalker, but He Already Knew novel · Chapter 4 of 24

Chapter 4: Behind Your Back

"Back up," Eli said. "To the glass."

Dr. Vandermeer walked backward until his shoulders met the window.

Behind him nineteen floors of black air fell away to the lake.

The rain streaked the pane and caught the city lights in long white lines.

His hands stayed behind him, laced at the small of his back.

Eli stood a foot away and looked at him for a long time.

He had never been the one doing the looking.

For six months a pair of eyes had gone over him in the street, in the pharmacy, at the lake, in his own bed.

He had felt every one of them.

Now he took his time.

He looked at the pale line of the throat above the open collar.

He saw the grey in the black hair, and the red mark of his own palm fading on the cheek.

"Tell me you want this," Eli said. "Not that you'll allow it. That you want it."

"I want it."

"Louder."

"I want you on your knees in front of me," said Dr. Vandermeer, low and steady, "and I have wanted it since the day you walked into the hotel with your headphones round your neck."

The heat that went through Eli's stomach was not rage.

"Good," he said. "That's the one."

He unbuttoned the doctor's shirt from the top, one button at a time, slowly.

He did not touch skin until the last one was open.

Then he laid both palms flat on the bare chest.

It was hard and warm and thinly furred, and the heart under it was going so fast that Eli felt it in his wrists.

"You're shaking," he said.

"Yes."

"I thought you were the calm one."

"I am calm," said Dr. Vandermeer, and his breath caught on the second word as Eli's thumbs dragged across his nipples. "This is what calm looks like on me."

Eli laughed, low, and the sound startled him.

"Keep your hands where they are."

"Yes."

"If they move, I stop. And then I go home, and you sit here and think about it."

"They will not move."

Eli bent and put his mouth on the doctor's collarbone.

He bit, not gently, and felt the whole long body flinch against the glass.

He moved down the bare chest with his teeth and his tongue, leaving small red marks that would be there on Monday.

The doctor's breath went ragged above him.

At the belt he stopped.

He looked up.

The grey eyes were fixed on him, wide and dark, with the pupils blown nearly to the rim.

"Eyes open," Eli said. "Watch me. If you close them, I stop."

"I will watch."

Eli undid the belt, and the button, and the zip.

He eased the grey wool down over narrow hips.

There was nothing under it but a hard, flushed cock standing out against the flat belly, thick and long and already wet at the tip.

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