I Wrote Their Love Story, So I Wrote Myself Out novel · Chapter 15 of 24

Chapter 15: You Cast Me

At ten o'clock the loft was empty except for one lamp.

I had told Isla where I was going, and she had said only, "Come back and tell me."

Demi sat on the kitchen counter where the pancakes had burned in episode thirty-one.

She had on the grey sweater.

I understood that she'd chosen it, and I was too tired to be angry about it.

"You wore the costume," I said.

"It's just my sweater."

"It's the one from the shoot."

"It's the only thing I own that you ever said looked right on me." She pulled the cuffs down over her hands. "Say whatever you came to say."

"I came because you asked."

"Then I'll say it first." She breathed in. "You cast me, Jas."

"You told me that on the phone."

"Not once did you say cut."

The room was very quiet.

A pipe knocked somewhere in the wall.

"I walked onto that set the first day," she said, "and you said, it's a bit, it's for the reel, Wyatt's going to kiss you, it's just a kiss. And I said fine. And you rolled."

"I remember."

"Then the series. Then Dennis. Then I was kissing him on Tuesdays and coming home to you on Wednesdays, and every week the kisses got longer, and every week you said, that's great, hold it, one more." Her voice cracked. "You never asked me if I minded. You never once said, I hate watching this."

"I didn't hate it."

"You didn't feel it. That's what I couldn't bear."

I put my hands in my jacket pockets.

I had practised a speech on the plane over, and it had been about her.

It was not what came out.

"I didn't say cut because the scene was the only place I knew what to say to you," I said.

She stared at me.

"At home I didn't know how. On the set I could write you a line and hand it over, and you'd say it, and it would be good. I thought that was love. I thought if I made you look beautiful enough, that was a way of touching you."

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