Chapter 19: The Desk Again

Brynn's POV

The orderly came to Ezra's office on Thursday afternoon with his cap in both hands.

He was a big, soft-spoken man, and he could not look at either of us.

"I'll say it tomorrow," he said. "In front of the board. Not before."

"Why not now?" Ezra asked.

"Because if I say it twice, I'll lose my nerve."

He put his cap back on and left.

I stayed in Ezra's office that night to finish what I would say to the board.

It was nearly ten, and the floor was quiet below us.

He sat across from me on the couch with a stack of charts, not reading them.

I wrote one line, crossed it out, and wrote another.

Then the cramp came.

It was the old one.

It started low and hard, and my whole pelvis locked.

I gasped and doubled over the page.

Ezra was across the room in one stride.

"Brynn."

"It's back."

"I know. Look at me."

"I haven't had one in two weeks." My voice cracked. "I thought it was gone."

"It's the vote. You're scared."

"I'm not scared."

"Your body disagrees."

I clutched my stomach and breathed through my teeth.

My shoulder bag sat on the chair, with the shoebox in it that I had stopped carrying a week ago and carried again that morning out of habit.

I saw him look at it.

"It's in there," I said. "I brought it. I don't know why."

"Do you want it?"

"No."

I meant it.

"I don't want it, Ezra. I want you to do it."

He went to the door and turned the lock.

Then he came back and put one hand under my elbow.

"Onto the desk," he said.

I looked up at him.

His voice was calm and low, the voice he used on the floor, and my body knew it before I did.

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