She Begged for Me Back After I Left novel · Chapter 10 of 24
Chapter 10: Hands
Alana drove, because I was in no state to.
She took the harbor road with both hands on the wheel and her yellow raincoat still dripping on the seat.
I sat beside her with my bag between my feet.
The panel in my eye held at 2.0, and every mile toward the Winterbourne house it wobbled.
"I'm only going for a minute," I said. "I want to see what he looks like when he thinks nobody's watching."
"And then you'll leave."
"And then I'll leave."
"Okay."
She said it too quickly.
We were stopped at a red light by the container yard when she looked over at me.
"Can I ask you something? You can say no."
"Ask."
"Can I feel it?"
"Feel what?"
"Your heart." She flushed, and went on in a rush. "I know it's stupid. I keep thinking about your hand going through the wall. I want to know it's really there. That's all."
I should have said no.
I had made a rule for myself, somewhere between the motel and the diner.
Nobody touched me unless I asked.
Not Dalton, not either sister, not the owner or the guard or anyone else in this world.
Every touch I had taken lately had cost me or fed me, and I could not tell which was worse.
"The light's green," I said.
"Nolan."
The car behind us honked.
She drove through the intersection and pulled over under a streetlamp, in front of a shuttered tire shop.
She put the car in park and turned in her seat.
"I'm sorry," she said. "Forget I asked."
I looked at her face in the sodium light.
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