She Said to Wait, But Our Baby Couldn't novel · Chapter 2 of 24

Chapter 2: The Thread

Willa's son is born still at dawn, and while Dean answers Gwen's texts she photographs the chat and finds he signed Gwen's nine-thousand-dollar home-birth package three weeks ago.

They told me the placenta had torn away from the wall of my womb.

The doctor said it is called an abruption, and that the bleeding had been inside me for hours.

She said they could not save him, and that I still had to deliver him.

Nobody lied to me, and I was grateful for that.

My son was born at 5:40 that morning.

He did not cry.

He weighed seven pounds and two ounces, and he had Dean's chin.

A nurse wrapped him in a striped blanket and laid him on my chest.

I told him I was here, and that I was so sorry it took us so long.

Dean stood at the foot of the bed.

He had not touched our son.

His phone was in his hand, and he kept looking down at it.

It buzzed against his thumb and he read the message.

"Dean."

He looked up.

"Give me the phone."

"Willa, not now. You should rest."

"Give me the phone."

I said it softly, because I was holding my son.

He put it in my free hand.

The screen was still open to the group chat.

Her name was at the top of every message, and the pictures beside them were all small, bright and smiling.

I scrolled up with my thumb.

Gwen had written to him at 1:15 that night.

"Heard you're up. Is she sleeping? Did she finish the blend?"

Dean had written back, "Yes. Out cold."

That was before my water broke.

I scrolled further.

Four days ago a woman I had never met had written, "Does Willa know the plan yet?"

Gwen answered, "Not yet. Dean knows. We'll tell her once labor starts so she doesn't get worked up."

The plan.

My thumb stopped on a folder icon pinned at the top of the chat.

It was a PDF called Home Birth Package.

I opened it.

It was a contract.

It was six pages long and it had Gwen's logo at the top.

It said Gwen Tolbert would attend Willa Hartley's home birth, handle all communication with outside providers, and be the sole judge of when a transfer to a hospital was needed.

Nine thousand dollars, paid in full.

The date at the bottom was three weeks ago.

There was a signature on the line for the client.

It said Willa Hartley.

It was not my handwriting.

I had a hospital birth plan taped to our refrigerator.

I had a bag by the front door that had been packed for a month.

I had never agreed to any of this.

I sent the page to my own phone.

Then I sent every screen above it, one after another, with my son's head against my arm.

Dean watched me do it.

"Willa, that's not what you think."

"What do I think?"

"It was a backup. If you changed your mind about the hospital. Gwen said it would help you relax."

"You paid her nine thousand dollars."

"We could afford it."

"You signed my name."

He didn't say no.

The nurse came to take my son.

She asked if I wanted a few more minutes, and I said yes.

She stepped back and gave me the minutes.

I kissed his forehead and told him I was going to fix this.

I did not know yet what I meant by it.

When they carried him out, I turned to Dean.

He was crying now.

It was the first time I had seen him cry since the night we got engaged.

"I didn't know it would go like this," he said. "I swear to God, Willa."

"You timed my contractions for her."

"I was trying to keep you calm."

"I was bleeding on the sheets and you were writing to her."

He opened his mouth.

I held up the phone.

On the screen, under the contract, was one last message.

It had arrived while I was reading.

Gwen had written, "How is she? Don't let her say anything to the nurses until I'm there."

I turned the phone around so Dean could read it.

He read it twice.

"She's just being protective," he said.

Dean reached for the phone and I closed my hand around it.

"Don't," I said. "Don't touch it, and don't touch me."

I took my own phone off the tray and texted my sister.

"Jenna, he's gone. The baby. Come to the hospital. Don't call Dean."

She called me anyway, and I let it ring while Dean watched.

Then I answered.

"I'm coming," Jenna said, and I could hear her keys already in her hand. "Don't sign anything. Don't let anyone talk to you about anything. I'm twenty minutes away."

I looked at the man I had married.

"Get out of my room."

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