They Never Loved Me. Now I Don't Remember Them. novel · Chapter 15 of 24

Chapter 15: Both Right

Devin pulled away from the curb before I had the car door shut.

"You're white as paper," he said. "What happened?"

"Drive."

I held the key in my fist the whole way home.

In his kitchen I put the napkin on the table and unfolded it.

Three white capsules lay in the cloth, slightly soft at the edges.

Devin looked at them and then at me, and the tension went out of his shoulders for the first time in an hour.

"You did it," he said.

"I did it. Britta saw."

"Britta saw?"

"She followed me to the bathroom." I sat down. "She didn't turn me in. She told me she was adopted to be a spare."

He started to say something, and I held up my hand.

"I need to say something first, and you're going to hate it."

He sat across from me.

"I know you read my notebook," I said.

The kitchen was very quiet.

"The first night. The page about my family." I kept my voice level. "I wrote that nobody would come for me. I wrote that if I disappeared on Lake Road, my mother would tell everyone I wandered off, and they'd believe her."

"Lydia."

"You never told me. In two weeks you never said it once."

"I was going to."

"When? Before or after you'd carried me to bed?"

His jaw tightened.

"In the car you told me I'd said thank you to the nurse," I said. "I never told you that. It was only on the page."

"I know."

"Did you think I wouldn't notice? I was supposed to forget it."

"Yes," he said.

I stared at him.

"Yes, I thought you wouldn't notice," he said, standing. "I read it because you were asleep on my couch and the notepad was open. I read it, and I read the line about nobody coming, and I couldn't put it down."

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