They Sold Me to the Crippled War God, So Why Was He Standing in My Father's Barn on Two Good Legs novel · Chapter 6 of 24

Chapter 6: Yes, Ma'am

I gave my stepsister no answer at all and I walked out of the dance hall into the dark with my hands still shaking.

The parking lot was packed gravel and pickup trucks, and the air smelled of rain that hadn't come.

I had come alone.

I stood at the edge of the lot with my heart going and no ride home.

A truck was idling at the road.

The old Ford, the lights out.

I walked to it.

He had the window down and his hat on the seat beside him, and he sat with both hands on the wheel looking at nothing.

"You waited," I said.

"I said I wouldn't stay in the hall.

"I didn't say I would leave you without a ride."

"Take me home."

He started the truck.

The drive to the end of the levee road took twelve minutes, and neither of us spoke.

The cane fields hissed on either side.

The white shell glowed in the headlights, and my own breath sounded too loud.

He parked at the foot of the porch and shut off the engine, and neither of us moved.

I looked at his hands on the wheel.

They were tight, the tendons standing in the backs.

"You were hard," I said.

I said it flat, to the windshield.

He did not answer for a long time.

"Yes," Seb said.

"In front of everyone," I said.

"Nobody could see," he said.

"I could feel it."

"I know," he said.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," I said.

I got out of the truck and went up the porch steps and through the screen door into the dark kitchen.

I heard him come in behind me, and the screen door settle on its spring.

I turned around in the middle of the floor.

He stood in the doorway, a tall dark shape against the porch light, with his hat in one hand.

"Seb," I said.

"Close the door."

He closed it.

"Put your hat down."

He set the hat on the table.

"Come here."

He came.

He stopped a foot in front of me.

I could see his chest rising and falling and the pulse jumping in his throat.

I had thought about this for two days in the iron bed at the end of the hall.

I had told myself I wouldn't, and that I had no right, and that I was angry at the whole world and he was standing nearest.

I was too tired of being the easy one to lie to myself about what I wanted.

"Term five," I said.

"I can say no on any day."

"Yes," he said.

"I'm saying yes."

His breath stopped.

"Odile."

"I'm telling you what I want.

"I'm not asking you to ask me."

I took hold of his shirt collar in both fists.

"I want your hands behind your back.

"I want you not to move until I say."

I felt a tremor go through him.

It started in his shoulders and went all the way down.

"Say you understand," I said.

"I understand."

"Say it properly."

His eyes were black in the dark.

"Yes, ma'am."

Something broke open low in my stomach.

I let go of his collar and stepped back against the kitchen door.

I put my back to the cypress wood and held out my wrists, and he took one step, and I pointed to the floor.

"Stay."

He stopped.

He folded his hands behind his back like a soldier at parade rest, and stood.

His chest rose and fell fast.

I reached up with both hands and unbuttoned his white shirt, one button at a time, slowly, watching his face.

He kept his eyes on mine.

His jaw worked and he said nothing.

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