He Left Me Pregnant at Her Funeral, Now His Son Needs Him novel · Chapter 29 of 32

Chapter 29: Visiting Hours

Kendra sat down on the other side of the glass in county orange, with her hair scraped back and no coat.

She picked up the phone before I did.

I let her wait.

Then I lifted mine, and I did not say hello.

"You came," she said.

"You said one thing. Say it."

Her face was gray under the fluorescent light.

The softness was gone, the head tilt, the touch on a sleeve.

What was left looked tired, and young, and mean.

"I read the third page," she said. "That morning. I read it in the lobby, standing up, before I opened the other two."

"I know. The prosecutor said."

"Let me say it." Her voice cracked. "It said to tell you thank you. And I stood there and thought, why does she get thanked? I was the one she called."

"You were the one who said do it."

"I know what I said."

She pressed her forehead to the plastic edge of the booth, and then she lifted it.

"I'm not sorry enough," she said. "I'm sorry, and it isn't enough, and I'm going to be sorry for the rest of my life, and it won't buy you one night back."

"No."

"I'm not asking you to forgive me."

"Good."

"I wanted you to know I know."

I looked at her for a long time.

I had pictured this room for weeks.

I had pictured saying every cruel thing I'd practiced in the shower, in the car, in the dark, and I found that I did not want any of them.

"I came to tell you something," I said. "You can have it or not."

She waited.

"I'm done hating you. I'm not forgiving you. Those are different."

"What's the difference?"

"Forgiving means I'd let you near him. I won't. Hating you means you live in my head, and you stopped getting rent."

Her mouth opened, and nothing came out.

"My son will know your name when he's old enough," I said. "He'll hear that Ansley's sister lost her sister and did a terrible thing, and that she paid for it. I won't make you a monster for him."

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