I Paid My Grumpy Neighbor to Be My Fake Boyfriend, and He Took the Job Way Too Seriously novel · Chapter 2 of 24

Chapter 2: The Binder

Eli turns up with a binder of rules and a backstory, makes her practice his hand on her back until she stops flinching, and then takes her mother's FaceTime call and greets her in perfect, formal Korean.

"How do you know my sister's name?"

Eli pointed past my shoulder with his folded safety glasses.

I turned around.

The save-the-date magnet was still stuck to my door, where I'd put it in May so I'd stop losing it.

A white card with gold letters.

Mina Kim and her fiancé. June 20. Lake house, Wisconsin.

"Oh," I said.

"You walk past it twice a day," he said.

"I don't read my own door."

"Clearly."

He shut his.

I stood in the hall a while, feeling stupid and a little bit relieved.

At seven the next morning someone knocked on my door.

Eli was holding two coffees and a black three-ring binder.

There was a label on the spine in neat capitals.

US.

"You're kidding," I said.

"You never sent the list."

"It's seven."

"I start at the machine shop at nine."

He walked into my room.

He moved my laundry off my desk chair and sat.

I sat on my bed in my sleep shirt, holding the coffee.

It was how I liked it, with too much oat milk.

"How did you know this?"

"You order it every morning at the cafe. You're loud."

He opened the binder.

There were tabs.

Color-coded tabs.

"Section one, how we met," he said. "March first. Halsey laundry room. The dryer ate your quarters and I fixed it."

"That actually happened."

"That's why it works. The best lies are mostly true."

"You were really rude to me."

"Also true. Keep it in. Your sister will expect me to have flaws."

He flipped a tab.

"First date. The twenty-four-hour diner on Clark Street. You had pancakes, I had nothing, you made fun of me for it."

"Did we talk about anything?"

"Your drawing."

I looked up.

"How do you know I draw?"

"Your door's open when you study. There's a sketchbook on your floor every time."

He said it.

"Section three, your family," he said. "Your father?"

"Orthodontist. He'll look at your teeth."

"Your mother?"

"She runs the house. She'll feed you until you can't move. She'll ask if you're Korean."

"I'm not."

"I know. She'll ask anyway."

"Brother?"

"Jae. Twenty-six. Teaches chemistry in Milwaukee. He's nice, but he tells Mina everything."

"Your sister."

I didn't answer right away.

"She's a lawyer," I said. "She's never lost anything in her life. And she already thinks I'm lying."

He wrote that down.

He actually wrote it down.

"Your middle name," he said.

"I don't have one. My Korean name is Seo-yeon. Only my grandmother uses it."

He made me spell it twice.

"Pet names," I said. "What do I call you?"

"Eli."

"Couples have pet names."

"I don't do pet names."

"What if my mom asks?"

"Then you tell her I'm emotionally unavailable. She'll believe it."

I laughed before I could stop.

He didn't smile, but his jaw softened.

He turned to the last tab.

"Rules," he said. "One. No kissing unless someone is watching."

My coffee went down the wrong way.

"Kissing?"

"It's a wedding. People will expect it. If someone's watching, we do it. If no one is, we don't."

"That's very romantic."

"It's not supposed to be."

He stood up and looked at me.

"Stand up."

"Why?"

"Because when I touched your arm in the laundry room in March, you jumped a foot."

I stood.

He came around behind me.

He put his hand flat on the small of my back.

I flinched.

"That," he said. "Fix it."

"I'm not used to it."

"Again."

He took his hand away and put it back.

I flinched less.

"Again."

His hand was warm through the thin cotton of my shirt.

On the eighth time I didn't flinch.

On the ninth I leaned back into it without meaning to.

He went very still behind me.

Then he took his hand away and cleared his throat.

"Good," he said. "That's good."

He picked up the binder.

"We need photos. Your sister will ask why there are none."

We took them on the roof that night, where the RAs told everyone not to go.

He stood behind me with his arms around my waist while I held the phone.

"Look at me like you like me," I said.

"I'm trying."

"Try harder."

He turned his face into my hair and I took the picture.

When I looked at it later, I didn't recognize either of us.

Back on the fourth floor, he was halfway to his door when my phone rang.

FaceTime.

Umma.

"Oh, no," I said. "No, no. She never calls after nine."

"Answer it."

"She'll want to see you."

"Then she'll see me."

I answered.

My mother's face filled the screen, close and lit from below.

"Hana-ya. Mina says he's not real. Where is he?"

Before I could say anything, Eli took the phone out of my hand.

He held it at eye level.

Then he bowed his head to my mother, the proper way, slow and low.

"Annyeonghaseyo, eomeonim," he said. "I'm Eli. It's an honor to finally meet you."

Every word was right.

Even the bow was right.

My mother's mouth fell open.

← Chapter 1 · All chapters · Chapter 3 →

Want to keep talking to characters like these? Chat with AI romance characters: AI Boyfriend · AI Girlfriend · Dark Romance · Fantasy Romance · BL (Boys’ Love) · Billionaire Boyfriend · Mafia Boyfriend · Possessive Boyfriend · Hockey Boyfriend · Older Boyfriend · K-Drama Boyfriend · Anime Boyfriend · Vampire Boyfriend · Werewolf Boyfriend · Demon Boyfriend · Fae Romance · GL (Girls’ Love) · Anime Girlfriend · Goth & Alt Girlfriend · Gamer Girlfriend · Tsundere Girlfriend · Fantasy Girlfriend