Chapter 18: Six A.M. in the Gym

The hospital gym was empty at six, and Ezra was under the bar with two hundred pounds on it.

I stood in the corridor outside the glass wall, with my arms wrapped around my scrub top.

Judd had walked past me a moment earlier in his station jacket.

He had not slept either.

He had not looked at me. He had pushed open the gym door and gone in.

I did not follow.

Ezra racked the weight, sat up, and wiped his face with a towel.

"Ez."

"Judd."

My brother walked to the middle of the rubber floor and stopped about ten feet away.

Ezra stood up.

"I'm not here to talk," Judd said.

"Then don't."

Judd crossed the floor and hit him in the mouth.

The sound came through the glass. It split Ezra's lip and turned his head, and I pressed my hand over my own mouth.

Ezra did not lift his hands.

Judd hit him again, in the ribs, and the air went out of him.

"Five years," Judd said, hoarse. "Five years you let me tell myself it was fine."

"Hit me again."

"You let me!"

"I let you because I thought it was the right thing for her."

Judd hit him a third time, and Ezra went down on one knee.

I took a step toward the door.

Then Ezra came up, took my brother by the jacket, and drove his fist into his jaw, once, as hard as he could.

Judd sat down on the floor with his back against the mirror and blinked.

Neither of them said a word.

His nose was bleeding. He looked at his own hand and began to laugh, short and ugly.

"You still hit like a surgeon."

"You still hit like a firefighter."

"I deserved that."

"You did."

Ezra sat down on the floor across from him, and they both leaned their heads back against the cold glass.

I eased the door open an inch, so I could hear.

"I called you that morning," Judd said. "At six. I lied to you."

"I know."

"I'm sorry, Ez. I sent you away from the one person you wanted. I'm sorrier than I can say."

Ezra looked at the ceiling.

"I should have called you after that porch," he said. "I lied to your face on Sunday. I told you I was only treating her. That's on me."

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