They Never Saved Me a Seat, So I Built My Own Table novel · Chapter 2 of 24

Chapter 2: Four Slots

In the dorm lobby Paola ends it with Tommy in front of the others, and Lucia begs her not to tell them about sophomore year.

The cancellation email reached all four of them at once.

I know because I came down the stairs on Saturday morning with two suitcases, and the dorm lobby was full of buzzing phones.

Dario, Franco, Tommy and Lucia sat on the long couch by the mailboxes, each with a coffee and each staring at a screen.

I set my suitcases down by the door.

Tommy looked up first and held out his phone. "Paola, you canceled the graduation table. It says so right here. Was that a mistake?"

"No," I said. "It wasn't a mistake."

Dario put his coffee on the floor. "Then what is this about? Is it the cannoli?"

"It's the cannoli, the pens, the lights and the concert in the spring."

"That is a lot of small things," Franco said, and he pushed his glasses up. "We can go through them one at a time. I'll make a list."

"I don't want a list, Franco."

"I only mean that if you look at the pattern..."

"I looked at the pattern," I said. "I looked at it for three years."

Nobody said anything.

It was strange to see the four of them quiet at the same time.

"I'm taking the job in Austin," I said. "I leave Monday."

Dario stood up so fast the coffee tipped. "Monday? You can't leave Monday. Mom doesn't even know."

"I'll call her from the train."

"You said no to that job twice. You said it made no sense."

"I said no twice because you three told me what to say."

Dario's mouth opened and closed.

Tommy laughed, a short, easy laugh, and pushed his hair off his forehead. "Come on, Pao. You're tired. We've all been up since six. Sit down and have a coffee."

"I'm not tired."

"You always say you're tired when something is bothering you."

"Today I'm saying I'm done," I said. "Tommy, we're finished."

He kept smiling for a second longer.

Then he looked at the others, to see if they had heard it too.

"Over a pastry?" he said. "We've been together three years."

"Over three years of being the one you skip when something runs short," I said. "The pastry was only the day it ran short again."

Lucia made a small sound and put her hand over her mouth.

I took his gray sweatshirt out of my backpack, the one I had worn every night since September, and laid it on the arm of the couch.

I did not slam it down or throw it, because I didn't want a scene.

I wanted him to understand it was just a sweatshirt, and that I was returning it.

"You'll cool off by the time you get to Texas," Tommy said. His voice had stopped being easy. "You'll call me from the airport."

"I won't."

"You always do."

"I always did," I said. "That's what I'm done with."

Franco cleared his throat. "Paola, before you decide, there's a fair question about who handles Christmas."

I looked at him.

"The cabin," Dario said, and he sounded relieved to have something concrete to say. "Upstate, the whole week. Everyone's coming. Who's booking it? Who's doing the groceries? Who's making the schedule for who drives with who?"

"I always did," I said again, and I heard how it sounded.

"Right," Dario said. "So who's going to do it now?"

He wasn't being cruel.

He honestly wanted to know, and that made it worse.

"Ask yourselves," I said. "You've got three days."

I picked up my suitcases.

Dario said, "You're really going to walk out on your own family over this?"

"I'm walking out on a seat nobody ever saved," I said. "You can have the family part. I'll call Mom."

Nobody followed me to the door.

I pushed it open and cold air hit my face, and for the first time in a week I could breathe all the way down.

Then someone's fingers closed around my sleeve.

Lucia had come out after me with no coat on, her cheeks wet.

"Paola, wait," she said. "Please don't tell them about sophomore year."

I looked at her hand on my sleeve.

"Tell them what?" I asked. "That was between you and me. It has nothing to do with this."

She stared at me for a long moment, and her mouth shook.

Then she let go of my sleeve and went back inside.

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