Chapter 19: With Every Memory Back

I opened my mouth to answer him, and the creek night came back all at once.

It did not come in pieces.

It hit me.

I saw the yard, and the post, and the blood running warm down my back.

I saw Garrick's hands closing on Jory's coat.

I felt my arms empty.

I felt myself running for the water in the dark, with my skin torn open, and falling on my knees in the shallows.

And I saw a man step out of the black trees with his hands held open, showing me he had no weapon.

Green eyes.

A flannel shirt.

*Don't touch me,* I said to him.

*I won't,* he said. *Not unless you ask.*

I remembered the bond flaring between us, bright as a struck match, even then.

I remembered his hand not reaching for me, not once, while I crawled out of the water by myself.

I remembered that he took off his own coat and laid it on the ground beside me, and stepped back.

I remembered wanting to die, and wanting to live, and hating that I could not decide.

I remembered the root in my hand.

I remembered Nan's voice, tired and soft: *This will take it all, child. Are you sure?*

I remembered saying yes.

I remembered how easily I'd said it.

I came back to the porch with a gasp, and Ewan was already on his feet.

"Ro," he said. "Rowena, what?"

"I remember."

His face went the color of ash.

"All of it," I said. "The yard. The creek. Your coat on the ground. The way you wouldn't touch me."

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