Chapter 10: Two in the Morning

I put the envelope behind my back before the attendant came around the corner.

"I'm sorry," he said. "He sounded angry."

"Tell him a resident came for her own things," I said. "That's all it was. My vitamins."

"Your vitamins, ma'am."

"Yes."

He looked at the orange bottle in my hand. He looked at Keaton.

"I'll tell him I was on the phone with the delivery guy," he said. "I didn't see anybody."

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry about the other morning, Mrs. Lindell. The pass. I didn't want to do it."

"I know."

He locked the cage behind us.

In Keaton's kitchen I laid out every page of the clinic's envelope on the counter and photographed them one at a time.

The lab report. The doctor's letter. The signed refusal.

I sent them to myself and to my mother.

Then I put the originals back in the envelope and sealed it with the same piece of tape.

"Why seal it?" Keaton asked.

"Because I want to be holding it when he sees it."

"Good."

He opened the fridge and handed me a carton of milk without being asked.

I drank half a glass.

It was after two in the morning.

We sat on the floor in his living room with our backs against the couch and a lamp on low.

For a long time neither of us said anything.

"The rule," Keaton said at last. "I'm not allowed to ask."

"You're not."

"I'm going to anyway. Are you okay?"

"No."

He nodded.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?"

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